Wednesday, October 06, 2010

a fiction based on actual events in Marseilles.


"Marseilles is full of shit." These were the first words that came out of my host's mouth as we exchanged hugs and European double kisses. A very proper introduction to France I thought. "No, It's really full of shit, you really have to watch where you step here." He followed with, "No one comes to tour Marseilles anymore, what do you know about this place?" I rummaged through my brain, thinking of something intelligent to say. I thought about bringing up the diversity I knew existed here, the fact that it is the oldest city in France and the second largest city next to Paris, or something about it's importance as a port city to Northern Africa. What came out was simply, "Bouillabaisse?" It was a surprisingly honest answer. I had been dreaming of the hearty French Mediterranean fare that awaited me since arriving in Madrid for this two-month excursion through Western Europe. In my mind, France was a sure thing regarding cuisine. This is why I was here. I wanted sea creatures soaked in butter and then soaked in olive oil and then slathered on a toasty baguette, I wanted to wash it down with Pastis and macaroons. Tapenade, ratatouille, and aioli were all invented here. This is why, Marseilles. Julien, the host, took note of my one word reply and filed it away somewhere as he began talking about the "[h]ip [h]op."


I would not eat Bouillabaisse on this trip. Instead, I would eat like a 6 ft 7 in basketball player named Julien, I would eat like a true Marseillais. We began at L'Authentique, "the best" sandwich shop in Marseilles. Le Charolais is a foot long chopped steak sandwich smothered in aioli, caramelized onions, comté and topped with perfectly seasoned pommes frites. Cheese, fat, salt, carbohydrates and protein all accounted for here. Yes, this is a meal for 3 and yet I managed to only feed myself. As I watched the sunset on my impossibly delicious and diminishing sandwich, Julien informed me that there was no hurry, because lucky for us, "the best" bakery in Marseilles never closes. This was not dinner I thought, this was an eating contest.


Julien advised getting two treats at the 24-hour bakery. He recommended the plum cake though the layered chocolate mousse or lemon tart were sure things he said. We consciously walked home, hopping over piles of neglected dog poo, (it turns out there is a lot of shit in this city) with an éclair, a chocolate mousse, and a lemon tart for balance. Steps from our door, we make one final stop to pick up a bottle of "the best" drink in Marseilles, Quebec soda. Over pastries, Julien spoke passionately about tomorrow's calories. "Fougasse" he said, "is fat, fat and lardons, it is incredible, tomorrow we eat the best Fougasse." Indeed we did.


After a week of Marseilles' best, I left with many extra pounds, an addiction to lardons and a deep respect for the wonderful people of this gritty Southern French city. Luckily, a week of hiking in the Austrian Alps awaited my rapidly beating lardon heart.

Lists

I've had over two weeks to process my journey through Western Europe and to readjust to living chillstyle in Austin, TX. After two months of living like a fly on a wall, begrudgingly observing the sophisticated Laissez-faire dealings of the European middle-class, I have had some realizations as to what it means to be an American, a Unitedstatian, or whatever it is that we are. It's 2:39 pm here in Austin so that means I'm drinking an alcoholic beverage as I write this. Grain of salt please.

Here is my ongoing list of observations. It'll be a top ten for now.

1. To be American is to have debt. Large, massive, overwhelming, unmanageable debt. Most likely it is from having the gall to pursue higher education, or from insisting your family live in a house.

2. To be an American is to overcome all odds. To go to an underfunded school with poorly paid teachers, eat horribly processed lunch food and still have enough energy to fight for a decent education to get to college. To come out of college with at least one passion, maybe even a job to pay off those student loans (see 1).

3. To be an American is to ask about parking options for your car.

4. To be an American is to ask yourself if you can afford to go to the emergency room after a serious accident. To consider treating yourself and avoid debt (see 1).

5. To be an American is to ask for too much, you are paying for it, right? Why not ask for a half and half no gluten, lactose free milk, probiotic, venti cappuccino with no foam. SO WHAT if a cappuccino IS all foam.

6. To be an American is to believe in your right to litigate.

7. To be an American is to not understand different eating habits. "You mean nothing is open until 8:30 pm? but I'm hungry now!"

8. To be an American is to believe in your right to buy stuff.

9. To be an American is to believe in your right to be outraged when you want to return said stuff after you realize the exchange rate was not in your favor.

10. To be an American is to believe every merchant on earth should be equipped to accept your Diner's Club, Discover, or Visa check card regardless if the merchant's business has only one employee, an older woman that sells crepes she makes over a small gas stove.

I'm currently working on a list of reasons why I consider myself a patriotic aMEriCAN. In the meantime, I made ciabatta and it looks like this: