Lists

I've had over two weeks to process my journey through Western Europe and to readjust to living chillstyle in Austin, TX. After two months of living like a fly on a wall, begrudgingly observing the sophisticated Laissez-faire dealings of the European middle-class, I have had some realizations as to what it means to be an American, a Unitedstatian, or whatever it is that we are. It's 2:39 pm here in Austin so that means I'm drinking an alcoholic beverage as I write this. Grain of salt please.

Here is my ongoing list of observations. It'll be a top ten for now.

1. To be American is to have debt. Large, massive, overwhelming, unmanageable debt. Most likely it is from having the gall to pursue higher education, or from insisting your family live in a house.

2. To be an American is to overcome all odds. To go to an underfunded school with poorly paid teachers, eat horribly processed lunch food and still have enough energy to fight for a decent education to get to college. To come out of college with at least one passion, maybe even a job to pay off those student loans (see 1).

3. To be an American is to ask about parking options for your car.

4. To be an American is to ask yourself if you can afford to go to the emergency room after a serious accident. To consider treating yourself and avoid debt (see 1).

5. To be an American is to ask for too much, you are paying for it, right? Why not ask for a half and half no gluten, lactose free milk, probiotic, venti cappuccino with no foam. SO WHAT if a cappuccino IS all foam.

6. To be an American is to believe in your right to litigate.

7. To be an American is to not understand different eating habits. "You mean nothing is open until 8:30 pm? but I'm hungry now!"

8. To be an American is to believe in your right to buy stuff.

9. To be an American is to believe in your right to be outraged when you want to return said stuff after you realize the exchange rate was not in your favor.

10. To be an American is to believe every merchant on earth should be equipped to accept your Diner's Club, Discover, or Visa check card regardless if the merchant's business has only one employee, an older woman that sells crepes she makes over a small gas stove.

I'm currently working on a list of reasons why I consider myself a patriotic aMEriCAN. In the meantime, I made ciabatta and it looks like this: